Young Adult Author
To write will be an awfully great adventure.
I don't know how much you know about me. Maybe you've known me for a while, maybe you're new here. Whatever the case you may or may not know about some of the more personal parts of my life. I talk about my writing and my cat and my husband, these are all things that I love. What I don't talk about are the darker things going on inside my head. And no I don't mean in the part of my brain that writes my stories.
I suffer from moderate to severe generalized anxiety and depression which are lovely little tag-a-longs to my Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD. I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD (they're considered the same disorder now) when I was in the first or second grade. They spent years putting me on medication after medication just trying to get me through school. I even switched schools a couple of times, the first of which I found pretty much traumatizing and the second a welcome relief. Through all of it I felt like many of the adults around me did not understand what I was going through. I didn't wan to be this kid who couldn't make it through a single class without my mind going on its own little adventure. I didn't want to feel like a failure every time I screwed up. I didn't want to feel like my teachers were blaming me for this thing I couldn't control. Enter my first bout with depression. I don't remember how old I was at the time, maybe late elementary or early middle school. I was having night terrors and my brain felt more out of my control than usual. I remember the Zoloft. I remember the Welbutrin. I remember feeling better and eventually not taking pills anymore. It happened again in high school, something I never told my mom. This time I didn't want to see any doctors. I just dealt with it on my own. I had a few close friends and we survived together. I buried myself in Theatre class and my school plays. When a boy asked me to Homecoming I was convinced he was screwing with me and I ignored him. I still don't know if he was or not. I made myself unattractive. I wore XL t shirts and sweatpants so they wouldn't talk to me, so they would leave me alone. I didn't want to be noticed. Somehow I actually did alright in school, probably the best I'd ever done. I thank finding the right ADHD meds for that. I graduated and got into college. I only applied one place, the place my best friend wanted to go. I didn't even look at what it could do for me. I just knew it was small and she was going to be there. And then she wasn't. She went somewhere else and it was too late to look elsewhere. I was on my own. All throughout school I'd had this low key anxiety about things going wrong. What if I walked into the wrong class and made an ass of myself? What if I did something and it ruined everything I'd been working so hard for? What if I failed? What if, what if, what if? And I'd never told a soul. Now I was going off into something completely unknown. And I did alright for a couple months. I met a guy a liked, he wasn't really into me but that didn't seem to stop me. I was obsessed with him. Which ended up being a good thing as that late November/early December he saved my life. I had a breakdown and depression hit me worse than it ever had. The week before he had been dealing with his own similar problems and I was there for him, now here he was for me. I almost did something stupid, but I didn't. Because he was there. I thank whatever powers that be that he was there. I got help and I survived. I joined a sorority and things improved. My senior year it was my anxiety's turn to rear its head. I have always had problems with public speaking and I was having to give a presentation to finis off my degree. Between regular panic attacks and nightmares from the pressure I was driving myself over the edge. Some of my sisters were seeing the on campus therapist so I decided it was time to try that. Honestly? It only half helped. Having someone to talk to was nice but she didn't give me the tools I needed to cope. She was just an ear. I still don't now how I survived that semester but I did it and I got my degree. But that was the year my best friend who saved my life died. It was also the year I started dating my now-husband. A bit of a roller coaster for my brain chemicals, I admit. I was all over the place. Fast forward to now. I'm 24, I still don't drive because of my anxiety. I don't even have a license. Last year I had another really bad bout of depression. My husband got me through it and he really and truly is my rock. I've been on medication for the anxiety, had to stop because the depression got worse. We're working on seeing a doc to find something else. But what does this have to do with my writing? Well, everything. Firstly, I'm writing a character who suffers from anxiety and depression as I do. A character who despite her illness is going to have to save the world. It's a lot of pressure for her and quite bit for me. I want her to feel real to others who deal with similar issues and know that they can save the world too. That their illness doesn't have to impede their ability to change the world. But second, and more difficult for me is that if affects how I write. I still deal with these problems. Some days I can't write a word, I can barely find the motivation to do basic things like get out of bed, take a shower, eat food. Some days I don't find joy in anything I do and I get angry, then I get sad, then I go find my husband and talk his ear off for a couple hours. He's a saint for putting up with me. I don't know what I'd do without him. When I do write I'm always doubtful that it's any good. But I have to force myself not to go back and delete the whole thing. I always worry, even in this early draft stage, that everyone is going to hate it. I certainly hope that's not true but there it is. I just have to force myself to believe, and when I can't let my husband believe for me. And let that be enough. I just want to save the world despite my mental illness. At least if I can't do it I hope my character Thea can. Have a good night everyone, Erin
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When you're a writer, criticism is part of the deal. It's a necessary part of the writing process, and also part of putting your work out there for the world to read. This doesn't mean it is easy. Criticism comes in many forms, of different kinds, from different levels of people. So let's talk about a few of them.
Critique Partners: These will be one of your first form of critique. They're here to help you, and you to help them. Keep in mind that while what they're saying is personal opinion, a good critique partner just wants to help your book be better. So listen to them. You don't have to change every little thing but keep their comments in mind as you work. If more than one person is saying the same thing, you definitely want to take that into account. DON'T take it personally. They're not trying to hurt your feelings or attack you. Your book may be your baby but they have perspective that you are much too close to the project to see. Just keep an open mind and talk it out. Agents, Editors, and Publishers: These are your professional critics, the ones that will decide your fate in the industry. When querying your book its important to keep what these people say in mind. Again, no one is forcing you to listen to them but it may be the difference between getting published (or getting an agent) and not. Again, it's not personal. You can't define your worth as an author on what they say. Everyone makes mistakes and a first, second, even third draft may not be perfect. That's ok, it really is. Reviewers: Professional readers are tough. Once the book is published you really can't go back and change it. In most cases I would say don't look at reviews, they'll just make you feel like crap. Reviews are for readers, not for authors, your part of the writing process is done. Move on to the next project and let any negativity stay outside of your space. Don't torture yourself with what you can't change because its not worth it. And if a reviewer is mean or nasty to you, DO NOT RESPOND. Just let it go. In general the best advice in regards to critique is to listen when the critique is helpful, ignore when it isn't, and keep in mind that no one is trying to make you feel bad. Critique can hurt but it'll hurt less if you keep things in perspective. They're not out to get you or knock you down (in most cases). It's ok not to be perfect right away. That's what the revision process is for, after all! It's not personal it's just business. Keep that in mind and critique won't be so bad. And a positive attitude always helps. If you have tips for dealing with critique share them in the comments! Write On! Erin You may have heard these terms when an author talks about their writing process. "I'm a total pantser!", one may say or "no no, I will always be a plotter". What in the world are they talking about you may ask?
Pantser refers to someone who writes by the seat of their pants with very little guide. These writers just let the words flow, not really knowing what the end point may be. A plotter spends a lot more time outlining, usually making sure they know what their end point is before starting a project. Me, myself, and I? I'm a hybrid. I don't really fall solidly into either category. For me it depends on the project. For instance I wrote about 10,000 words for Through the Flames before I had an inkling of how it would end. I had maybe the first third to a half outlined with a sad skeleton of a guide but no more. Until My Dying Day (my YA fantasy romance) on the other hand is completely plotted out, all I need to do is outline more fully. Neither method is better. Neither method is perfect. It really just depends on the writer. I know writers who get too bogged down if they plot and outline. I know others who could not survive or write without it. I also know plenty like me who fall into both categories at different times. Our processes are different but in the end we all write. So what are you? Pantser? Plotter? Hybrid? Leave your answer in the comments. Currently by the seat of her pants, Erin Naming characters is extremely tough for me. I'm obsessed with getting just the right name for each personality. For fantasy this is a tall order since there are so many different ways you can choose a fantasy name. Here's how I do it:
First I check my lists of names for something I like for that character. I often write down a name I like if I hear it in real life and these names make it onto massive lists in my writing journal. There are other ways a name can end up in my book but I'll cover those later. I have several pages of these scattered throughout my journal so this can sometimes take time. Some of them are also organized into a theme. Right now I have special lists for "thief names" for a main character + friends in book 2 and elemental names for various side characters throughout book 1. If I can't find something I like I turn to the internet. For more normal names I'll head to baby naming websites. This is one of the ways names end up in my journal. If I like a name but it doesn't work for a current character I'll write it down in the book. If i have an idea of what I want the dialect of a certain area to sound like I'll pick names from a similar sounding real world culture. Very rarely will I base these book cultures on a real world one but I will pull a name or two so that the names in that area have a common root. If a baby name website doesn't work for some reason, I head on over to Fantasy Name Generator. This is great for theming a name. Say you want names for an elemental. Pop over to that generator and they'll give you plenty of names with the element listed beside in case you can't figure it out. After I have a couple of options I'll google the names for important characters to make sure I'm not naming them something someone else has already popularly used. Meaning, will people think of that other book instead of mine when you say the character's name? We don't want that. For lesser characters I'm not as worried about this. Sometimes if I'm really stuck on a name I'll call out to Facebook for suggestions. This rarely works but I've gotten some good names for other future characters this way. More often I'll get advice from my writer friends, particularly my critique partner. Seriously critique partners rule, but mine's the best. Hands down. She's a name genius and she's helped me out of a couple really tough name ruts. Lastly, if all else fails, I just give them a random name. This is only a first draft after all, and maybe once I write them a bit more their name will come to me. Until then Georgie and Helen will just have to be Georgie and Helen. Fellow writers, how do you name your characters? Comment below. A frustrated character mother Erin Today is a huge milestone for me. Today I bought Scrivener.
I first heard of Scrivener through author Jackson Pearce in her numerous videos on Youtube about writing. At the time I wanted to be a writer but I just wasn't all that serious about it. I was in college and $45 was too much to spend on software. But let's back up a moment. What is Scrivener? Scrivener is a writer's dream. It's word processing gone wild. You can divide up your manuscript into chapters and scenes, move everything around like it's printed on little notecards, add tags and notes and outlines, track the places your character is going and all of your different characters, and it'll format everything into a proper manuscript for you! Love! So what made me cough up the cash now? A couple of reasons. First, I actually properly know people who use it. My critique partner, several of my friends, a few of the authors I'm close to. Second, because I got a coupon code from my lovely critique parter letting me get it for $24 instead of $45. That's a big difference for little 'ole me. Thanks Austine! And of course, encouragement from my wonderful husband. So now it's all about learning the platform and playing with all the features. I have no idea where even to begin but I think I'll just jump right in and see what happens. With that said I should probably get back to it. So, if anyone has some tips for using Scrivener PLEASE leave a comment so I don't get completely lost. To Scrivener and beyond, Erin I love maps. A lot of fantasy fans love maps. As a reader I love maps because I have something to look back at if I need a little reference as to where things are an as a writer the purpose is similar.
As a writer, sometimes it's hard to keep your own world straight in your head. Where id a town in relation to a capital city? A mountain range in relation to a desert? A lake in regards to a forest? How long would it take to travel from point a to point b? Within a large capital city, where is the palace in relation to a slum? This is why I make maps. My world map I made on a website called Inkarnate. It's detailed and beautiful and rendered in full color. You can see everything, from the snow in the mountains to the different kinds of trees that makes up various forests in other regions of the continent. Northern forests are pines, Southern are oaks and other kinds of deciduous trees. The woods at the edge of the desert are skeletal, with no leaves at all. Yes, these are the kinds of things authors think of. I have other maps too. One is of my capital city, drawn in not very much detail in my writer's book. It doesn't show up until book 2 of the duology but you never know when you need to reference a bit of information. The last is of a camp that plays a rather big part in the current book. I will say very little here, mostly because of spoilers, but it is also a little hand-drawn thing and subject to revisions every other day it seems. I like to have maps to reference. If I'm having a character walk towards a specific location, I'd rather make sure I keep straight what direction it might be in. That way I know where everything is in relation to everything else and we don't have phantom places that move throughout the story because the author (me) forgets what they said in the previous 30 pages. Even then, like making maps. I find it relaxing. So if I'm feeling like I can't write one day I'll make a map or plot so I'm not losing that time and work is still getting done. At least I'm being productive. OR so I tell myself. :) Are you guys fans of maps? Maybe you have a favorite? Comment below and share them. Let's Write, Erin
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Writing is not an easy business. Some days you sit for hours, staring deep into your computer screen like it will give you all the answers you seek.
It doesn't. Sometimes you'll go for days without writing a single useful word and feel like a complete and total failure. You aren't. This is just how it goes. And honestly it just feels like crap. There's no getting around that. But writers say write every day, and so I do. I may not work on my manuscript. I may take some time to come over here and talk to anyone here who may be listening. I may go blog elsewhere. I may work on one of my many other projects, plotting or writing a little on something different to clear out my headspace. I may go find a prompt and write a short story, just because I can. Sometimes those stories become something more, sometimes they don't. But it's writing. Other days I may pick a random character from my manuscript and write a short story or scene from their point of view. It helps me understand them better. I don't like to skip around when I write, so rarely will I skip over a spot to continue the story at another point. It just helps me to think of it linearly. But my book is single point of view, so it's not skipping around if I write a different character. Or so I tell myself. I'm a bad liar. I won't always have a good writing day and I'm learning to accept that. It's not easy, not at all. But that's how writing is. I think it's worth it, or it will be when I can hold my finished manuscript in my hands and say, "I did it, I made this and it is mine." That will make everything worth it. So go write something, even if it's not your big masterpiece or a big bestseller. Write every day. Write something. It's the only thing that will help the bad writing days become good ones. Write On! Erin Through the Flames is the working title for my first full length novel. It is the work in progress I am currently attempting to finish, revise, and query to a traditional publisher. Easier said than done. Still, what's the point of dreams if you don't have to work hard for them? Based on a dream I had nearly 3 years ago and worked on through 2 NaNoWriMos, I have finally broken through my major writers block and am on my way to a proper working manuscript. It is the culmination of years of hard work and dreaming. I only hope the industry will believe in my little story as much as I do.
So, Through the Flames is about a girl named Thea, the daughter of the head elder in her village and a girl without powers in a world of low level elementals. After a horrible incident involving a member of her family Thea discovers that not only does she have power, but she has a gift long since thought extinct. She has the gift of Flame. Thea is a wonderful character, full of complicated motivations and real world emotions. She deals with anger, guilt, and fear throughout the novel just as anyone in her situation would have to do. She is strong, with a mind of her own, and doesn't always follow even what I want her to do. Often she is a character who writes herself and I adore her. As I write this Thea is ever-changing the way I look at my world and my characters. Planned as a duology, this story has taken me to places I never thought I would go as a writer. She shapes me even as I shape her and the rest of her world. Even if this isn't the book that gets published I am glad to be writing it. Ever onwards, Erin This is a question most people who write will get at some point in their careers. I think everyone has a different answer to this question but for me it get my ideas from dreams. Yes, really.
A couple of years ago I won a giveaway for one of Robin LaFever's books. Along with the book itself I got a necklace, a bookmark, and a little leather bound unlined journal. At the time I had no idea what I would do with it. A few months later I had a dream that later became the concept for Through the Flames. I was terrified of forgetting it so I looked around and there on my nightstand was my little journal, empty and lonely. I grabbed a pen and wrote down everything I could remember. Since then that book has sat at my bedside each night. I often wake up from dreams and immediately pick that book, writing down everything I can think of before going back to sleep. I don't want to forget any of it. Sometimes at the beginning this led to incoherent entries like "bastard sword" or "dragon cats", things that I barely remember or have no context for. Now I try to be a little more descriptive. If I can't find my book (or it's too dark to write in it) the ideas go into the notes on my phone. Later on when I go through them I'll transfer them to my book along with any other ideas that come come to me during the day. This book is full of character names, places, character descriptions, and any other tidbits that I've collected for my writing. It is my holy grail, the keystone for everything I write. I would be lost without it. Last night I had another vivid dream. My brain writes stories for me while I sleep and I translate them onto the page in the morning. This one was different from what I usually have, it was accompanied by pictures I had to draw in my book before I forgot them. It wasn't fantasy, it was post apocalyptic, a genre I rarely write for. After Through the Flames I think I'm going to try this one next, just for something new to do. A new story is brewing and I think I'll have to follow it. It's time to write, Erin |
AuthorErin is a YA author attempting to publish her first book. ArchivesCategories |